The StassiNet

(As posted in the McEachern Hall Lobby)

"You never know when a nuclear war could result in the world being overrun by zombies. It is important to know basic survival tips to ensure you don't become their next meal!

Tips for identifying a zombie:
-pasty, decaying body
-Eating human flesh
-No concept of personal space
-No pain response
-Slow, shuffled movements
-Mumbling "BRAAAAAAINS"

If it is possible, escape, but keep yourself safe from any harm. If an escape is impossible, hide yourself in a room, turn off the lights and your cell phone, and be quiet. Remember, zombies are stupid. Use this to your advantage! Spread out around the room. clustering together makes you an easy meal.

Call 911 when possible to do so (the phone lines might all be in use).

Have a plan to incapacitate any zombies (A shotgun to the head works well*).

*Your RAs would like to remind you that shotguns are not allowed in McEachern Hall. "